Nightmare.

I had a nightmare last night, and that's a really bad sign.

I woke up in a puddle of sweat, feeling sick to my stomach.
I barely remember the dream, but all I know is that I was scared. Very scared.

This new development means 1 point for going to the hospital. So far I'm thinking about going, but I must make the decision. I'll wait for now. Really want to see the therapist on Friday.

I don't want to have to get out of school for now, and I only have about a month left on this semester. Maybe I'll e-mail my teachers to see if they can work with me. If I need to go, I need to go, but I don't want to give up school that I worked so hard for.

But yes, it is getting worse and I'm very concerned.

Kelly said that she'd keep me out of the hospital even if she had to see me for a long time every day. I don't want to be a burden like that. Ugh, stop it Kat, you know that you're not a burden on her. These self hating thoughts fill my brain right now. Major reason why I want to see a therapist.

Well, I guess I'll go on thinking about my choice. I sure hope I make the right one.