There's someone in my head, but it's not me.

Extra points if you know what song my title is and who it's by.


I'm currently sitting at school in the eating area. My headphones are in and the voices aren't blocking it out too much.
My eyes scan the room restlessly, I'm not sure who is real and who isn't. I feel alone in a fog, watching the world but not part of it. The feeling is uneasy, paranoid nervousness. I'm convinced they're watching me, taking notes to deliver to the scientist in charge. I scream internally in sheer frustration and agony. I just want it all to stop, I'm getting so tired.

My class got out early, so now I have a lot of time until my next class at 6. Great.
At least I have music and my laptop, though who knows how long I'll be able to stay okay on my own here.

I really don't want to have to leave school, but I need a little break. I guess there are tons of stores around here, since I'm so close to downtown. Maybe Kelly is free, who knows. I'm just constantly on edge with decisions lately. Then again, my therapist wants me to ask if I need help, so even though I feel like I'm being a pain in the ass, I'll see what she is up to. Its so hard to do, and I don't know why. That's what therapy is for, I guess. My next appointment is Friday at 1.

I crave a cigarette. I'll go have one after I finish my 3rd cup of coffee. I hope this one actually has an effect, I just feel so unmotivated and overwhelmingly exhausted. My mind is all over the place and I feel like it's such a workout. I just want it to slow down. I don't have any Zyprexa with me, unfortunately. And I know what you're thinking, that the caffeine is going to make the things in my head even more active, but somehow coffee is a comfort. Doesn't make it any worse or better.

Ah, the last sip. Time to go have that much longed for cigarette.